Category Archives: Uncategorized

dark times

Somewhere in March 2019, I landed softly in dark times. Perhaps that is the way most people find themselves hanging out with the black dog, I’m not sure. I know that I was managing my affairs at school, showing up … Continue reading

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and kisses on the mouth

Kissing. I like kissing. It’s one of the things I am not particularly good at, yet don’t mind displaying my lack of technique with a lover. Susan was an extremely accomplished kisser. She had an eclectic range of kissing subtleties. … Continue reading

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a year whose days are long

And so here it is. One year since Susan died. Significant only in that one marks the passing of time in seconds, hours, days, months, years. We create anniversaries to mark those passages of time. My mourning boots are scuffed … Continue reading

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London

December 2017. I arrived in London early in the morning after an overnight flight. I found my way to the train and then to Paddington Station where I hopped in a taxi. Susan had flown over days before to see … Continue reading

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Missing

This was written on January 1, 2019. Susan and I were having a picnic out in the woods to the south of her house in the summer of 2016. She often took me on little trips behind her house, into … Continue reading

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the bed

After Susan died I spent a week at her house, mostly to facilitate preparations for her funeral. The day after her service I returned to my flat in Dorval, a suburb of Montreal. Returning to my apartment was a little … Continue reading

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Shine

I intend to write and publish some new work in the coming weeks. I wrote through winter but did not publish anything on this blog. I am not sure why except that in some ways publishing made me feel more … Continue reading

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Desire (part 1)

Lately I have been having such intense periods of loneliness that seem to be triggered by my yearning for Susan, as well as a lot of physical desire for her. I am wondering if this is the loneliness speaking. I … Continue reading

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of Susan, seventeen syllables on first day of twenty nineteen

a morning listening to Bach and shrugging off fears of the new year turn thoughts ‘round she says embrace joy find pleasure ah there, in my coffee take this day as it is let slip yesterday don’t compare to ‘morrow … Continue reading

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Thank you, Nick

One of the very few moments I experienced comfort was while watching One More Time with Feeling, a documentary film produced during the recording of Nick Cave’s album Skelton Tree. This is a clip from the film and one of the songs.

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